I'd rather have one of these than a BMW Z4

I KNOW it’s a risky thing to say, but it’s true.

It’s something I discovered yesterday doing that most dangerous of things; driving to IKEA. Anyone who’s ever tried this and then failed to get the flat-packed wardrobe home has already discovered that almost every car, from my Mini up to and including the latest in BMW’s long line of glitzy sports cars, is suddenly useless.

Having actually driven the current Z4 I can testify that it’s fabulously fast, very good looking and really rather nice to drive, but there’s no way you could own one as your sole vehicle because furniture will defeat it. I actually imagine the only reason why you never saw any missiles firing out of Bond’s Z3 in Goldeneye is depressingly simple – there wasn’t room for any!

What Britain’s top secret agent actually needs for his missions into Swedish territory, as ridiculous as it sounds, is a Ford Mondeo ST TDCi Estate.

It might have been overtaken by BMW’s 3 Series as the rep’s car of choice but I’ve always liked the Mondeo, and this particular version is the one for the job. It’s made for trips to IKEA, yet because it wasn’t made by IKEA, it’s solid and more than capable of handling a heavy load.

To be honest any extreme estate will do the trick, but unless you’re prepared to scratch the precious materials that line a secondhand Audi S4, Ford’s finest will have to do.

Porsche’s Boxster might have two boots, but neither of them are as cavernous as the Cologne Catheral space in the back of a Mondeo estate, and it’s even sort of nice to drive. You might think the petrol ST 220 is the way to go but for once diesel is the engine of choice; it’s all but identical until you get to the pumps.

It depresses the Z4-owning purist in me but if meatballs and shelving units are part of your life, the best car in the world is a fast estate.

Rumours I work for Ford remain unfounded.