My far more tempting scrappage idea

THOU shalt not be led into temptation.

I appreciate the authors of that particular statement didn't have the scrappage scheme in mind when they came up with it, but it's a temptation all the same, and one I'm going to resist.

In what other world is a banger you bought for less than £500 suddenly worth four times that? It's mighty tempting to take the bait and get a cool two grand off at whichever dealership's nearest to your house, but chances are you'll be killing off a future classic with years of life left in it.

For those of you who haven't been living in a cave since the scrappage scheme started and later got extended, some background. In a bid to bring new car sales back to pre-credit-crunch levels, Generous Gordon can give you £2,000 off your next new car, but only if you give him a decade-old one to get rid off. Worryingly, it doesn't matter whether it's a Mondeo or a Maserati - anything given in gets the crusher treatment.

I actually thought about taking my motor around some showrooms for a laugh, just to see how many salesman I could get to salivate at the prospect of chopping it in to boost their sales figures. Yes, I know I've got too much spare time on my hands.

The only problem is that I'd be led into the exotic world of cars that actually work properly, where Fiat 500s and Ford Kas would stare seductively at me with their promises of three-year warranties and NCAP safety ratings. Before I know it, I'd be £8,000 and a classic car down, and all because some smug salesman offered me a free cup of coffee.

What especially annoyed me was Hyundai's proclamation this week that they've saved a Morris Minor Traveller from the scheme to help raise funds for Children In Need, but it's drop-in-the-ocean stuff.

The way I see car makers getting their sales up is by actually making things people want to buy, and giving us poor petrolheads some money to help keep bits of our heritage from disappearing altogether.

£2,000 for anyone who keeps a cherished classic going? It's a tempting offer.